Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize