We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
