i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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