My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Holy sore nipples Batman
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize