Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
