We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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