how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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