No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
