I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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