were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
