Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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