I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize