He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
