Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
