At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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