i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
