where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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