I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
