he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
