weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
