we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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