i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
