I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Panties = found
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
