I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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