I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
