if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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