K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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