I just threw up on my dentist
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
