he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
