Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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