I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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