Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
