is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
