I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
