Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
