Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
