swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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