my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize