Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
