Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
