First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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