I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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