I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
