I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
