I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize