please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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