You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
