1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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