Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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