I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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