Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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