your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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