there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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