I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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