hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
