Soap is not a condiment
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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