Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
