Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize