Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
