I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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